You are the jewel of my life
by shiningpearl
Summary: Kurosaki ichigo was a very professional doctor to whom,emotions meant nothing.His life was changed by a girl named Rukia who was a cancer patient herself but she brought colors in his life.read to know how she became the jewel of his life.a.u.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I am Kurosaki Ichigo, a 37 years old man. I am a doctor by profession. My life has changed a lot over the past 15 years. Back then, money was everything to me. I thought of love and friendship as rubbish. Now I think that everything except the love and friendship is rubbish. Back then, I used to have a belief that I was my own best friend. Now I realize that I had been my worst enemy. Back then, tears had no effect on me. Now I cannot bear to see a teardrop in anyone's eye. I have changed .Yes, I have changed a lot and it was she who changed me. She, who came in my life for what I call just a few moments and changed my whole life forever…..

It was a foggy December morning. I was heading towards my expensive and comfortable apartment after jogging when my phone rang. I stopped, took the phone out of my pocket and frowned to see the number. It was Yuzu, my little sister. I left the Fay the moment I turned 18 and did not want to stay in contact with any of them as I hated the sentiments. I was a very calculated type of person. At the last ring, I finally picked up the phone.

"Big bro, how are you? I hope you are fine. Please come home today. It is Karin Chan's birthday." My sister went on without even bothering whether I was listening or not. This made me smile for a while.

"Yuzu, Listen… I am sorry. I have a meeting today. I will send the present and wish her too. Is it okay?" I made up a reason at which she hung up without saying anything but I knew she must be weeping.

I felt guilty for a moment but that feeling did not last for long. "It is absurd to feel this way. I have just joined the hospital staff. It is the beginning of my career. I cannot afford to waste my time on such things." I tried to convince myself.

Just then, I saw "her". It was not like that I was seeing her for the first time but I was seeing her after some time. She also used to jog on the same jogging track everyday until recently. I had not been seeing her for two or three days. She was an average looking short girl, yet she was very attractive. But then again, love and attraction was a funny business to me, so I never tried to work out my feelings for her and besides, she was a total stranger. Even then, I always looked forward to her coming without realizing it.

She had never noticed me or that's what I think at least. I deliberately looked away from her and just then my phone rang again.

"Damn it!" I said under breath. It was my boss Heyi, a senior doctor.

"It is Kurosaki Ichigo speaking." I picked up the phone.

"Yeah, I had to tell you that I am going on a field trip. I am entrusting you with a very sensitive case…" She told me the details of the case.

It was a young woman, about 20 who was at last stage of cancer. According to the reports, she barely had a week to live. I had to look after her and check on her at least two times everyday. It seemed to be a pain in the ass. I hated to handle that type of cases.

"I don't know why people struggle to live even till last breath". I thought.

I had to gather details from the hospital, so I had to rush.

"Another busy day I guess…" I sighed.

After getting the details and the reports, I drove to that girl's house. After parking the car, I knocked at the door.

"Leave the pizza at the door and pick up the tip. Thanks for coming." came a lively voice from a distance.

"I am not here to deliver pizza, miss." I clarified as my blood boiled.

"Oh, I am extremely sorry." she said as she opened the door.

I could not speak for a while when I saw her. She was the same girl from the jogging track.

"Is she the… No it can't be. She looks perfectly alright." I thought.

"I am here to see Kuchiki Rukia. I am her doctor" I said.

I wanted to clarify my doubts but it was a great shock to me when she said, "I am Kuchiki Rukia. Come in."

"It can't be. She doesn't look like a cancer patient at all and to think that she is at the last stage is impossible." I thought.

"Is something wrong?" she asked as she showed me the way to lounge. Perhaps she read the expression on my face.

"It is nothing." I forced a smile. "I am a professional doctor and this girl means nothing to me. I have taken this case for a living and that's all." I said to myself to bring myself to normal and it did the trick.

Anyhow it was the first time I felt that way and I didn't like that feeling.

"Would you like to have some coffee?" she asked sitting down on a couch.

"Well…" I was about to say something when she cut in.

"Kitchen is upstairs. If you make good coffee, bring a cup for me too." This was enough to piss me off. I was never used to such kind of behavior.

"What exactly are you. I am your doctor, not your butler!" I said overflowing with anger.

I hoped she would apologize but she said, "Doctors can make coffee, can't they?"

Author's note "This is my first dramatic story. Tell me if I should continue or not."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I was greatly pissed off by her behavior. I went upstairs and found the kitchen. The house was pretty huge and well decorated. Even the kitchen was very well equipped. I took out what I needed from a cabinet and made coffee, "I just can't believe what I am doing. This girl is just nuts. She will drive me crazy too!" I thought but the fact that she had only a few days to live made my heart drown. I prepared two mugs of coffee and went downstairs. "Ah…thanks! You make good coffee by the way!" she said taking a sip. I kept quiet. "And you know what, your wife would be very lucky!" she went on. "And how is that?" I asked as I was greatly shocked by the quite frank remark. "It's not that you are very handsome or anything, it's just that she would get good coffee every day. Are you married by the way?" she said in a mocking tone. "Look Miss. This is our first meeting. I don't think we should be talking about such things!" I said in a professional way. "Then what should we talk about? Should you be telling me that I have just a month or two to live or I should take care of myself?" she made me speechless.

To be honest, I was the kind of person who would really say such things to his patients, I was like that. I didn't really bother about the effect my words had on others but I couldn't bring myself to say any such thing to her. "It's not like that. Reports do say that but reports do not always tell the truth. Look at yourself. Does it seem to you that you would die that easily, huh?" I said. "! Isn't this our first meeting?" she asked with a meaningful smile. "Yeah I guess…but why does it matter?" I had no idea what she was thinking. "Then why do you seem so concerned about me?" she said with an unreadable expression on her face. "Why on earth would be I concerned about you? It's just that I am your doctor…" I said furiously but was interrupted by her "Then you don't have to give me false hopes…" she said and for the first time, the shine in her eyes was overshadowed by sadness. I don't know why but I wanted to say out loud and tell her that I would not let her die. I wanted to tell her that I would move heaven and earth to save her but I kept quiet. It was very unlike me. It was indeed very unlike me! "You should take some rest now…" was the only thing I managed to say. "Oh well yes, you are right. You are going then?" she said. I put the mug on the table. There was still coffee in it. "I can't stay here forever you know." I said getting up from the couch. I didn't know why I said that. "Fine, I will go get my wallet then." She said. "No need. I will receive payment when you recover." I said with a smile and it was the most genuine smile I had ever given to anyone. "I am not going to lose to death that easily and lucky for you, you will get all the credit." she said smirking. "And by the way, smile looks good on your face." She said and I couldn't help but blush. "See you then. Take medicine on time." I changed the track. "I am feeling okay today so you may come tomorrow. There is no need for a second visit today." She said and I nodded. "What's your first name by the way? Heyi didn't tell me and you can't expect me to call you by your second name !" she said in a mocking tone. "I am Ichigo!" I replied after some hesitation. I didn't like when people called me by my first name. "I am Rukia!" she said as we shook hands.

It was a very strange day. I had never felt extremely good and extremely bad at the same time like that. "Why good people have to leave the world so early! Why?" I said to myself that night.

Author's note "Do give your feed back which means a lot to me."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next day, I opened my eyes at the first ring of alarm. I put on my jacket and headed towards the jogging track. I felt more fervent than usual. Unintentionally, the first thing my eyes searched for at the jogging track was Rukia.

I looked here and there but could not find her. I was alarmed.

"What possibly could have happened? Why has she not come? She better be okay!"

Such thoughts enveloped my mind.

I had her phone number and it was written on a piece of paper which I had put into my pocket. I put my hand into the pocket to take it out but there was no paper! I probably dropped it somewhere. I had to do something as I was extremely worried about her. At that time, I used to describe this concern for her as my obligation as a doctor. Perhaps because I myself did not know what it was!

The next moment that I remember, I was parking my car in the front of her house. Her house was not very distant from my apartment but it was easy and convenient to use the car. There was someone else already standing at the door. I rushed towards the door.

"Excuse me Sir! Someone ordered pizza from this address. But I have been knocking for a while now. No one is coming".

My heart stopped beating for a while. I began to knock at the door crazy like!

"I am coming! Do you intend to break the door?" her voice came.

I felt relieved. I paid for the pizza and received it. The boy thanked me and went away. He must be thinking that I was crazy. She opened the door and looked in a cross mood but she couldn't be more angry than me.

"Are you mad? Where were you? You have no idea how much vexed did I get?" I burst out even before coming in.

"I was taking a bath. How could I have opened the door? And who you are to yell at me like that?" Now she was yelling at me!

"Fine! Can I come in now?" I said handing the pizza over to her.

"I have not forbidden you to come in." she answered back.

"Then get aside." I said as she was standing in a manner that she had completely blocked the way in. She moved aside but looked embarrassed.

"Is that all you ever eat?" I asked her as she opened up the pizza pack.

"Yup! It's because it is yummy and requires no effort to eat. Just order a pizza and enjoy. "she said utterly ignoring the meaning behind my question.

"And you expect to recover with such a careless diet?" I was furious.

"I don't care!" she replied.

"But I do!" I said standing up but the next moment, I had realized that I said more than required especially by a person like me. Even she was surprised and stopped eating pizza to look at me.

"I …. I mean I am your consultant and I will not allow you to eat such junk. I will make a food chart for you and you will have to strictly follow that." I said in one go hoping to handle the situation.

"Now I hate you." she said making an adorable face.

"You have a chemotherapy session today, remember? And we have to go to hospital for that. I will pick you up at 7 this evening. It's not good for you to drive." I said in a soft voice ignoring her comment.

She just smiled in answer.

I had to visit hospital to see some other patients. However I canceled all the private appointments. I prepared a nutrition chart for her and revised it. "It is perfect!" I thought. I also read some books on severe cancer treatment.

She was not my first patient who needed such attention but yes, she was the first one to whom I was giving so much attention. I could not figure out why. It was not sympathy I knew. It could not have been sympathy! I had seen hundreds of patients dying before my eyes; I had seen their dear ones cry…but never before had I had that feeling. That feeling was certainly new to me.

I just knew I did not want her to die. I just wanted to prove all the reports wrong and even funnier thing was that I sometimes wished I had met her before…

At 7'o clock, I went to her house to pick her up. She was looking dazzling in the white dress. I was just stunned when she opened the door. I just couldn't look away.

"Hey come in! I will just be back in a minute." She said and rushed towards the stair case. I just stood there. Now when I think of it, she was dressed very simply. Perhaps, it was the first time that I allowed my eyes and my heart to act on their own.

But I soon managed to get over it.

During the drive to the hospital, we did not say a word to each other but on our way back, she seemed very happy. "Look! That's my favorite restaurant." She said pointing towards "Holiday café". I also had memories linked to that restaurant. When I used to live with my family, we went there at every week end. But I seriously did not want to go there then.

"Let's go there." She suddenly said.

"Huh?" I was shocked.

"Park the car, what are you waiting for?" she insisted and I instinctively parked the car.

It had not changed at all. I remembered that my every birthday was celebrated there by me and my family until I decided to move on my own. And that day was my birthday…

"Are you okay?" she asked as she saw me deep in thought.

"Oh yes! I am perfectly fine." I said forcing a smile.

"I thought that both of us have not taken our meals. So it would be a good idea to come here. But if you have any problem, we can leave!"

"Don't try to act so nice. Order something to eat." I said trying to act normal.

"Big brother. What a surprise! How come you are here?" someone said. I recognized the voice. It was my sister Yuzu. I stood up as I was very surprised to see her. She was not alone, my father and other sibling were also there and that was even worse than my worst dream. I certainly did not want them to see me with a girl. I knew my family. They would surely have misunderstood.

"Oh my son has finally found his girl. So this is the girl who is going to become my daughter in law." He said as he came forward for a hug.

That was the least thing I wanted to do. "Shut up dad. It's nothing like that." I said turning red with embarrassment.

"Don't be shy, my boy. We are happy for you." Perhaps he did not want to shut up.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"It's nice to see you guys here." Rukia spoke out for the first time.

Perhaps I was supposed to say that but I was too offended to say anything like that.

"And we are extremely surprised to see you two here!" said my dad.

"Surprised?" Rukia couldn't get what dad was trying to say and neither could I.

"I spent my whole life peeking into my teenager boy's stuff looking for a girl's photo but…."my dad went on like a crazy old man and I had no choice but to stop him.

"Dad! Will you please cut it out?" I had had enough of him.

"He talks a lot about you people." Rukia said before my dad could say anything.

I looked at her. She looked very calm. This gave me some relief.

"Well I am surprised to hear it. I mean he hardly talks to us." It was my sister, Karin.

"Hey! Did you get your birthday present?" I asked Karin trying to change the track.

"It would have been a lot more pleasant if you came." She answered my question in a serious yet mocking tone. I couldn't say a word.

"He is not such a good birthday present I assure you." Everyone laughed as Rukia said this. She kind of saved me from the piercing feeling of guilt.

After that there was no callous conversation. I was surprised to know that they came to that restaurant even after I left the house on my every birthday.

My favorite chocolate cake was ordered. We had a brilliant time there. I had never enjoyed that much on my birthday ignoring the fact that I had not been celebrating my birthday for past 4 years. It seemed quite childish to me.

Time flew away as fast as never before. The fact completely skipped from my mind that she was ill and it was not good for her to talk so much.

At about 10.30, she suddenly got up.

"Excuse me! "She said as she rushed towards the door. Judging from the expression on her face, she was finding it hard to breath and probably wanted to go out for some fresh air. It was quite natural in her condition and I was figuring out what I should do. But she had hardly taken two or three steps when she collapsed.

"Rukia!" I rushed towards her and grabbed her before she could dash to ground.

The girl whose little compliments, little jokes made my world go round was right in my arms but not for good reasons.

"You should not have pushed yourself too hard." I said softly though I knew she was not listening.

My family became really worried. They were extra ordinarily concerned and were willing to help but I promised to explain the whole thing to them later and assured them that it was alright.

She had the keys in her hand but it was a bit troublesome to take her back home.

I placed her gently on the bed. It was about midnight and I had no choice but to sit on the arm chair beside her bed and wait for her to wake up. At about 12.30, she she opened her eyes.

"Thanks God you are alright!" I said getting up and reaching for her hand.

But she impulsively shrugged back. "Where am I?" she asked in a weak voice.

"There is no need to worry. You are in your very own house. This is your bedroom." I said to her expecting that she would get it all.

"Then what are you doing here?" she was back to her normal self. I couldn't get whether she was angry or shocked.

"Excuse me! Firstly you forced me to go to that damn restaurant, then you collapsed there and I had to carry you home and take care of you and now you are getting angry at me being in your room." I know that I should not have been that much offended but I kind of felt insulted. She did not show any sort of reaction.

I went on "And don't you worry. I do get your point. I have called for a substitute nurse. She will look after you for the night….I could not have left you alone in such a condition because…."

"Because you are my doctor, right?" she said smiling. She kind of intimated me.

"Right!" I smiled back.

"You didn't have to explain the whole thing you idiot!" she said and I could not say anything to her in reply.

I just stood there looking into those beautiful angelic eyes until the door bell rang.

"I think it's the nurse. I should go now….. but don't be so careless in future. You should have at least told me you were not feeling well." I said with a concerned look on my face.

"If I had told you, how would have I come to know that you care about me so much…."she said feebly.

"I am giving your diet schedule to the nurse. Take medicine on time. I will visit tomorrow." I didn't want to stand there anymore.

"You have got such a wonderful family. I am glad I met them…"she said as I moved towards the door.

I said nothing….just looked back, smiled and went away because I did not want her to see the tears that welled up in my eyes…

Was it Love at first sight or not….I don't know! What I know is that I had found a girl without whom, perhaps I would not have died but a girl for whom I could live for…

Author's note "Please do review if you can find time to because i need serious motivation to continue this one. Thanks for reading."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The next morning, I woke up at 9.30. It was no less than a disaster because I had a meeting at 10 in the hospital. I had to hurry. It was normal for me not to wake up even after setting the alarm. I was furious because even the servant boy I had for the house chores did not wake me up although I had told him that I had an important meeting.

Getting late for the meeting was no big deal but what I was worried about was that Rukia had an appointment at the hospital at 8'o clock. I myself and other doctors had suggested her to undergo X-ray scanning again because none of us could believe the previous reports looking at her condition. She did not look like a last-stage cancer patient at all. Of course, I knew that other doctors would have handled the situation and it was not really necessary for me to be there but I just wanted to be there for her at that important time…

Anyhow nothing could be done. I just wished for the reports to be different that time.

Nonetheless I had to rush to reach the hospital at time for the meeting.

I immediately opened my closet, chose suitable clothes and rushed towards the bathroom.

It took about 10 minutes to take bath. I just had 20 minutes left to reach the hospital.

I changed the clothes, grabbed my jacket and went downstairs for breakfast without even having buttoned up my shirt. Being a doctor, I was strictly against spending the whole day without breakfast so I planned to take a toast before going.

"Jinta!" I called out my servant's name as I reached the lounge but instead of finding Jinta there, I was shocked to see Rukia. She was looking here and there keenly as if examining the place. She got up when she saw me, smiled and then immediately began to look down at the carpet without saying a word.

"Excuse me for a moment." I said and she just nodded in reply. I was really embarrassed when I rushed towards the kitchen cursing Jinta.

"Hey! You should have at least told me that there was a girl in the lounge." I yelled at him.

"And how should have I known that you were coming to lounge?" he said in his usual disrespectful tone.

"How long has she been waiting?" I asked taking deep breaths trying to keep my calm as I buttoned up my shirt.

"She came almost half an hour ago." He said in an unconcerned way.

"What? And you didn't even bother to tell me." I was incensed.

"Why are you yelling at me? You yourself have instructed me not to disturb you if a patient comes. You never meet any patient at home." He had a point. I never allowed the patients to come to my place.

"Just leave it…Couldn't you even wake me up for the meeting?" I just went on.

"You came back home late and didn't even wake up at the ring of alarm. I thought you did not want to go. That's all." I frowned as Jinta said this.

* * *

"Sorry to keep you waiting." I said as I sat on the sofa.

"No, it's okay. You didn't come so I thought that I should show you the reports myself." Rukia said as she handed over an envelope to me.

"Who gave my address to you?" I asked opening the envelope.

"Miss Matsumoto told me." She said staring at the envelope. Matsumoto was the nurse that looked after her for the night.

"This reminds me…how are you feeling?" I said as I looked at her.

"How does it look like? I drove all the way to your house." She said smirking.

"Are you crazy?" This infuriated me.

"This does not mean that I am crazy you fool. This shows that I am fine."

I did not answer back. It took about 10 minutes for me to read and analyze the reports and I was thrilled to know what the reports said.

"I just can't believe this." I said looking at Rukia.

"What is it?" she was really curious.

"According to these reports, the tumors are localized to two regions. Operation is possible. We have a hope!" I felt enlivened.

"I am glad. So the earlier reports were wrong…" she said in a low voice. She didn't look particularly happy. I don't know why.

"Hey! Look at the face you are making. I deserve a treat now. Don't I?" I said trying to cheer her on.

"Treat, huh? What if you pay for the treat yourself?" she said with a smile.

"Well still not a bad idea. I am the one who always pay anyway." I said in a mocking tone.

"You are such a moron. You remember every penny you spend." She said in a lively voice. I kept quiet.

"Don't you have to go to the hospital today?" she asked me in a concerned tone.

"Don't worry about that. It's already too late to go there. Moreover one day off won't bite anyone." I said getting up.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes. There are many substitutes there to handle the cases. Just give me the keys." I said pointing towards the car keys in her hand.

"So you will be the one to drive?" she asked.

"Of course." I said and she handed the keys over to me.

* * *

It was a foggy day. It was hard to see anything and was extremely difficult to drive.

"I can't believe that you drove the car under such drastic conditions." I said as I inserted a C.D in the player I had in my car. She did not answer.

_Every night I see you I feel you..._

The song started. I had heard that song many times before but it had never been so soothing.

"I like the song. I am surprised that you have such a good taste." She said looking at me and I just smiled in the answer.

"I love the movie too even though it had a sad ending….I hate sad endings." she went on.

"Don't you dare give a sad ending to our story..." I thought but said nothing.

Our love story…which had barely begun and was totally in the hands of fate….


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I can never forget that day. Those moments are still the most precious possession of mine. Although all the moments that I spent with her after the fate brought us together are special but that day was like a fantasy indeed.

"Where exactly are we going?" Rukia asked after about ten minutes of drive.

"It is you who is going to decide." I said stopping at the traffic signal.

"Really? Then what about going to the ice cream parlor first?" she said in a lively voice.

"Are you nuts? It is damn cold here and you are thinking of eating ice cream!" I said looking at her with a puckered brow.

"So what is the big deal? You probably don't know how enjoyable it is to eat ice cream in such weather." She tried to convince me.

"And I don't want to know. Don't forget that I am your doctor and I will never allow you to eat something that might harm your health." I said strictly as the traffic resumed.

"At least don't lecture me today. Okay, we will not go to the ice cream parlor but can't we even go to any ramen shop? She said grumpily.

"Well that seems to be quite appropriate." I said.

The next moment that I can recall, we were enjoying ramen.

"You know this ramen shop brings back so many memories." Rukia said carrying the bowl of ramen in her hands and looking closely at it.

"And how is that?" I asked.

"Well when I was in college, I with my friends used to come here every weekend and we also went to the amusement park nearby. I can bet it is still the same." She said excitedly.

I did not say anything.

"I am so going to go there today." She went on.

"And what will you do there?" I asked finishing my ramen.

"We will take the roller coaster ride." She said perking up.

"We?" I questioned.

"Yeah. You and me." She said making a victory sign with her fingers.

She looked really happy and I didn't want to spoil her fun by refusing right away.

"Okay but do you really think it's a good idea? I mean you…." I was about to say something but she cut in.

"You promised not to lecture me today. Can't you just stop playing my guardian angel for one day?" she said mockingly.

"As you wish but I didn't make any promise about not lecturing you." I said defending myself.

"So we are going there, right?" she asked making an adorable face.

"I will see about that later but right now, it is time for you to take your medicine. Now don't tell me that you forgot to bring the tablets." I said taking out my wallet to pay for the ramen.

"Well sorry I forgot…" she said with an unreadable expression on her face.

"What?" This infuriated me.

"Take it easy. I was just kidding. You just jump at every opportunity to scold me." She said mockingly.

"You are just impossible. Now hurry up and take your medicine. We should get going now." I said getting up.

* * *

"Where exactly are you going? This is not the way to amusement park." Rukia said.

Will you just shut up? Can't I take you to just one place of my choice?" I almost yelled at her. She made a petulant face.

After that neither of us spoke for almost 20 minutes.

"I am sorry for being so loud but the thing is that I was about to tell you about something really special." I broke the silence.

"You want to tell me about something special?" said Rukia who seemed to be offended by my behavior.

"Yeah…It has been bothering me for while now. I don't know if I should tell you about this or not but I think I really need someone to speak to. And I can't find a more appropriate person than you." I said biting my lower lip out of nervousness as I parked the car in the parking area beside the beach.

"Do you really think that way? I mean I am flattered to hear it." Rukia said almost in disbelief.

"What's so flattering by the way?" I said trying to decrease the intensity of the situation.

"It's just that it has hardly been a week since we first met and it's flattering to know that you at least trust me." She said cheerfully which calmed me a bit.

"Okay. So what is it?" she asked keenly.

"Actually I…I…" I could not find enough courage to speak my heart out.

"Say something. Why are you getting so confused?" Rukia said noticing my nervousness.

"I am not getting confused damn it!" I said furiously.

In fact, she was right. I had never been so nervous in my life. I was the kind of person who used to say really big things and made quite big statements quite easily. It always took just a moment for me to make even the most important decisions of my life.

Even when I was really nervous once in a blue moon, I used to come over to beach. That place soothed me greatly.

But that day, even the deep blue water and the waves kissing the shore were not giving me the courage to speak. They were not able to calm me down.

It was funny but she was right…

For the first time in my life, I realized how difficult it was just to simply say…I love you.

"Actually I think I have begun to love a girl." I finally said it but not the way I was supposed to say it.

It already sounded too cheesy to me and I could feel that I was blushing.

"I know it is…" I said without looking at her but she did not let me complete my sentence

"It is just amazing. Wow! I mean are you serious? Who is the lucky girl by the way? Do I know her?" she bombarded me with a lot of questions but I felt quite relieved then. At least she did not think it was odd.

"Perhaps you know her but not as much as I do." I said looking into her eyes.

"Well let me make a guess." My heart beat became faster as she said this.

"Um… is it sister Matsumoto? I mean I know her but not as much as you do." She said excitedly.

"You are insulting me Rukia. Don't make any more wild guesses. Do you really think I could fall for her? She is at least ten years older than me." I frowned.

"But she is such a nice lady." She said mockingly.

"Shut up Rukia." She was making me nervous again. She seemed to be totally ignorant of my feelings for her.

"I was just kidding dude. I have got your problem. You don't have the courage to tell that girl about your feelings and you want me to help you with the whole thing, right? I will of course help you but firstly tell me who is it?" she said.

"Firstly, get out of the car." I said flatly.

"Ichigo…You are so rude man." She said irritably.

* * *

"You know what… I think you should go straight to that girl and tell her that you love her. It is as simple as that." She said sitting on a huge stone slab near the shore.

"It is easier said than done. What if she doesn't feel the same way about me?" I said sitting beside her.

"Then at least you will find out. Fine, suppose that I am the girl you want to convey your feelings. What will you say?" she said looking at me.

I took a deep breath, placed my hands over her shoulders and looking into her eyes, I said, "Rukia… I love you."

"Way to go, Ichigo. There's no way that girl will refuse. You are amazing at making confessions you know." Rukia said applauding for my performance.

I sighed.

"Rukia, I really mean it. You are the girl I love." I finally said it all.

Author's note " I hope you will give me your opinions about the chapter."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Ichigo, stop kidding." Rukia said getting up. She didn't look pleased to hear what I said.

"I'm not kidding Rukia. This is really how I feel… Ever since I met you, my life is not the same anymore. I feel alive when I'm with you. " I said holding her hand.

"Stop it Ichigo. Don't say a word more." She said placing a finger on my lips.

"But Rukia…"

"Save these words for your true soul mate. I don't deserve them." Rukia said.

"So you don't feel the same way as me after all." I said letting go of her hand.

"I'm sorry Ichigo. Please forgive me if you can." She said looking away.

"It's o.k.… No hard feelings." I said taking a deep breath.

"I didn't expect you to feel the same anyway…Let's go"

I forced the words out of my mouth. I was finding it hard to speak.

I looked at her and was extremely surprised to see that her eyes watered as I said this.

"Ouch! There is something in my eye." She said as she began to rub her eye.

I wanted the world to end right there. The way back to the car seemed to be the longest distance I had ever traveled.

* * *

As we drove back home, we did not talk to each other. And what could we talk about?

There was nothing left to say…

Suddenly my cell phone began to ring. I picked up the phone. It was Dr. Heyi.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, I wanted to tell you that I am back from the tour. You can resume your normal routine. I will take up my job as Kuchiki Rukia's consultant from tomorrow morning. Thanks for the help but I need to have a meeting with you to learn about the progress of the case."

"It's o.k. I will meet you in the hospital at 8." I said.

"Why didn't you attend the meeting today morning?" Heyi asked in a concerned tone.

"It was a personal problem. See you then" I dropped the call.

"Who was it?" Rukia spoke out for first time during the drive.

"It was Heyi." I said.

"What was she saying?" Rukia asked keenly.

"She'll be the one taking care of you from now on." I said without even looking at her.

"What about you?" she asked.

"I've got other important things to handle." I said.

"So this is probably our last meeting, huh?" she asked sorrowfully.

I did not respond.

"Ichigo, I too have a confession to make." Rukia said.

"What is it?" I said trying to act normal. I did not want to show her that I was shattered though it was extremely hard to do so.

"I…I was not following the diet schedule you devised for me." She said.

I would have scolded her for it before but there was nothing left between us then.

So parking the car in the front of her house, I just said "It is o.k. She'll come to your place at 7 tomorrow morning. Do show your reports to her."

"How are you going to get back to your apartment? I mean…" Rukia said as we got out of the car.

"I like to walk at this time of the day. Good bye." I said faking a smile.

"Ichigo, I am extremely sorry." Rukia said ruefully.

"Don't bother about that. It was just a joke…I was actually kidding after all." I said.

I didn't bother to hear what she wanted to say in reply. I just walked away.

She could only say "Good bye…" and her voice was trembling.

The shadows were growing and the fog was thickening. The streets were empty and no living being could be seen for miles.

The severity of the weather made my head pound but I loved the pain. I deserved that.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, Did you really think that girl loved you?" my inner self taunted me.

"Don't talk about her. She means nothing to me." I countered my inner self.

"You can't fool me as I am actually you. Nobody knows you as well as I do. It's not her fault. You are the one who is at fault. A man like you does not deserve love. No girl would ever love a man like you whose life revolves just around his own self…"

"Shut up… Just shut up!" It's weird but I was shouting at myself.

"You don't even love yourself, Ichigo. In fact, I am the one who is ignored the most." My inner self mocked me. "You are just born to suffer. There is no love… There is no affection. You are a walking dead man, Ichigo…a walking dead man."

I did not know where I was going. Everything was getting hazy. The poles, the sign boards…everything began to swivel before my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, I was lying on my bed.

"Was it a dream?" I thought.

I tried to get up but I felt as if soul had been sucked out of me.

"Lie down. You should not walk in such condition." It was Yuzu's voice.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in a weak voice.

"We found you in this condition when I and Karin chan were coming back from super market in the street next to ours. What happened?" She said in a concerned tone.

"So it was not a dream after all." I mumbled without answering her question.

I looked at the clock. It was already 8 p.m.

"Oh crap! I have to go." I said trying to get up.

"Nee sama! You are suffering from severe fever. How can you go any where in such condition?"

She was right. It was hard for me even to get up.

"Your boss just called at your phone. We told her about the whole thing. She was saying that there is no need for you to go to her and that you need complete bed rest for a week."

Yuzu said.

I sighed.

* * *

I did not go to the hospital for a week. Dr. Heyi handled the situation.

On the first day of next week, when I went there,Heyi was on leave.

I was told that she went to Tokyo with Rukia to get her operated due to better facilities there.

I did not care about that anymore and did not want to care. I was finally kind of getting over it.

When I was about to leave for home, sister Matsumoto came to me.

"This letter is for you. Miss Rukia gave it to me 4 days ago. She desperately wanted it to be delivered to you before her departure to Tokyo….I am sorry that I forgot about it because of some personal problems." She handed the letter over to me.

"It's o.k. It doesn't matter to me anyway." I said taking it.

Author's note "Thanks for reading. Don't worry; things will start to get better…I think ^^

But do give me your opinions. What do you think? Should Rukia die or not ? Comment about the chapter too."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

It was such a hectic day. I got a call from another patient and I had to go there before going back home. Then I got an emergency call from the hospital and all this made me totally forget about the letter. I couldn't get back home before 11 at night.

"Would you like to have something for dinner?" Jinta asked. "No, just bring a class of water upstairs." I said going towards my room.

"Thank you." I said taking the glass from Jinta. Some scattered papers caught my attention as I placed it on the side table of my bed. I had made that mess while making the diet schedule for Rukia.

"That girl won't get off my mind that easily." I mumbled.

That reminded me of her letter. I had put it into the pocket of my coat.

I took it out and opened the envelope which was carefully sealed by Rukia. I unfolded the paper in it and was shocked to see that some words on it had faded. It seemed as if she had been weeping while writing the letter.

It felt very odd. My heart beat became faster. I had a hunch that something had gone seriously wrong. It was a long letter.

I read the first few lines…..

_To my love, Ichigo. _

_I know I shouldn't have written this letter to you because perhaps you are trying to forget me. But I am not as strong as you. I couldn't die with this burden on my heart. I couldn't die without telling you how I feel._

I did not have enough courage to read it further. Her words were so intense that I could almost feel the pain she was going through. I had to take some time to relax before reading it further.

After drinking the glass of water that Jinta had brought, I read further…

_Ichigo, do you remember that day when you came to my house for the first time? That was the day when I began to fear death. You want to know why. It's because I suddenly began to love life. Yes, I began to love life and it was perhaps because I had begun to love the person who came into my life that day. Even at the very first meeting, I had a feeling that we two were very similar. I felt that both of us had been trying to play strong before the world till that day for extremely different yet the same reasons and both of us needed a person who could force us to get out of our shells. I don't know about you but the day I met you, I wanted to quit playing strong. I wanted to tell you that I was scared…I was scared to die. _

_As we got closer, I grew stronger yet more fearful. Your presence gave me strength but at the same time, I began to fear losing to death because I feared losing you._

_With each passing day, my feelings for you got stronger. _From your smile to your scowl_ I began to love everything of yours._

_I loved it when you showed concern for me. It is funny but I even loved it when you scolded me over little things. Sometimes when you were about to go, I wanted to make you stay. Sometimes I wanted to tell you that how much jealous did I get when you talked about any other girl even if she were your patient. I wanted to tell you how much I loved you and how I wanted you to think about me all the day._

_But then I realized that I was being selfish. I realized that I was just thinking about myself and was totally ignoring the fact that you would have to live rest of your life without me._

_I couldn't bring myself to ruin the rest of your life. So I decided to keep quiet. I decided to curb my emotions. After all, love is not all about winning or losing someone._

_I thought I could still love you without you being aware of it. And that didn't matter anyway as we were having the time of our lives without even knowing each other's feelings._

_That day when you confessed your love for me, I was kind of floating in the air. I wanted to shout out loud that I love you too but I couldn't. I couldn't tell you because I had promised myself to stay out of your life. I didn't want you to get hurt because of me. You don't know how hard it was for me to reject your feelings and take it all upon myself despite of loving you perhaps even more than you loved me. But when you went away and left me forever, I couldn't keep that promise anymore. I couldn't bear this burden on my chest._

_That's why I am writing this letter to you, just to tell you that I love you. Ichigo, you are such a great guy. I am telling you that one day, you will surely find a girl much better than me. If you find one, propose her at once and marry her. And if you ever have a baby girl, do name her after me. _

_Anyhow I do have a last wish. Fulfill it if you can. I want to see you one more time before dying, Meet me just once even if you still hate me. I promise I won't say a word. I have to go to Tokyo for operation on 16__th__. Dr. Heyi might have told you about this and I just want to cast a last look at you before going there. I will wait for you…_

_Kuchiki Rukia._

I didn't know how to react after reading the whole letter. She was such an angel. I felt that the fate wanted to take her away from me because I didn't deserve her. Perhaps I was right…

I looked at the calendar up on the wall. It was 17th of December then and she had already left for Tokyo. Nothing could be done.

"If something happened to her, I won't forgive myself… I won't." I said to myself.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

There was no way I could get a plane ticket in such a short time but I had to do something.

She had already suffered a lot because of me and I didn't want to leave her alone one more time. I decided to drive to Tokyo. It could take 9 hours to reach Tokyo from my home town by road. She was to be operated upon at 10 a.m. and I could only reach in time if I drove fast.

It had always been difficult for me to drive at night but I had to do it. There was no time to think.

Going to Tokyo meant another day off from work and it could just dash my reputation of being the most dutiful and punctual doctor to ground but that didn't matter to me anymore.

I could sacrifice everything of mine just to meet her one more time .

When I was a kid, being the eldest son I had a special connection with my mom. She used to promise that she would never leave me but she died when I was just 9 years of old. I was just a kid then and this made me lose trust on others. I began to fear trusting others. I began to fear love. I used to say that she had broken her promise.

I hated it when people showed sympathy for me for not having my mom. This made me hate everyone around me. As I grew up, this hate diminished but it left my heart emotionless. I could not feel the pain of other people even my close ones. I did not feel happiness even when I was supposed to. All these emotions were alien to me.

And then I met her I met Rukia. She made me happy, she made me sad.

She stirred those emotions. I felt happy when I was with her, I felt her pain and I wanted to trust her.

When I was in high school, I decided to become a doctor just because I wanted to earn a lot of money.

I wanted to tell the world that relations and sentiments are worth nothing, it is money and fame that matters. But then,as I had found a girl for whom I could give away all the money and fame, I realized that I had unknowingly been striving all my life just to reach Rukia, just to find her.

There was fog and it was hard to see anything but I had to drive. I reached the hospital at 9.45 a.m. I had no difficulty in finding it because I had been there twice before.

I saw Dr. Heyi. She was discussing something with another doctor. It was most probably about Rukia.

"Where is Rukia?" That was the first question I asked as I reached there.

"Ichigo What are you doing here?" Heyi was greatly surprised but that didn't matter.

"Please tell me where is Rukia." I knew I was acting crazy.

"She has been shifted to operating room. I' m sorry you can't see her. The operation is about to start." She said.

"I don't care. I have to say something urgent to her. You have to give me some time." I said desperately.

Heyi didn't know what to say. She just looked at the other doctor.

"Okay but I can only give you 5 minutes." The other doctor said.

"Thank you Thank you so much." I was overwhelmed with joy.

"Take him to the operating room." He told a peon.

The peon left as we reached the operation theatre. There was no one else in the room except the both of us.

Rukia had her eyes closed. She was looking paler than usual but to me, she was as beautiful as ever.

"Rukia " I softly said her name as I placed my hand over hers.

"Ichigo?" she said without opening her eyes. "I am seeing this dream again."

"It is not a dream Rukia. I'm here, right beside you." I whispered in her ear.

She opened her eyes at once.

"Ichigo " she could not find any words to say.

"Are you scared?" I said.

Her eyes watered.

"Wipe those tears. The Rukia I know doesn't waste her tears over such petty things."

"These are the tears of joy you fool." Rukia said wiping her tears.

"I just wanted to tell you .Don't you dare die." This brought a weak smile to Rukia's face.

"I'll love to make coffee for you everyday." Rukia blushed as I said this.

"I think I should go now." I said as I kissed her at forehead.

"You'll wait for me, right?" Rukia asked.

"All my life." I said as I smiled.

"Dad, mom is getting angry. Come on, we are waiting for you." Ichigo's 5 years old son, Mamoru said making a grumpy face.

"I'm just coming in a second." Ichigo said capping the pen as he closed his diary.

"Ichigo, I told you not even to touch that diary on week end. Is that diary more important to you than your family?" Rukia said entering the room as the little kid grabbed her.

"Nothing is more important to me than you, sweet heart." Ichigo said with a smile.

"Let's go."

"Yay! We are going to the beach where dad first confessed... " Mamoru was cut in by her mom.

"Shut up, Mamoru." She said as the three of them went towards the car.

Author's note; "This was my fic that encouraged me to write further. So please whenevever you read it, kindly review it. It will be a big reward for me. I hope you liked it. ^^"18 august 2011-


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